How to Interview Relatives: The Family Stories You Can't Find in Records

Birth certificates, census records, and military files can tell us what happened in an ancestor's life—but only our relatives can tell us who they were.

Every family has stories that exist nowhere else. A favorite recipe, a childhood nickname, a funny family tradition, or the reason someone moved across the country may never appear in an official record. Once those stories are gone, they may be lost forever.

Whether you're just beginning your family history journey or have researched for years, interviewing relatives is one of the most valuable things you can do.

Start with the Oldest Generation

Whenever possible, begin by speaking with the oldest living relatives. Their memories often stretch back several generations and may include stories they heard from parents and grandparents.

Don't wait until you think you have the "perfect" list of questions. Every conversation is an opportunity to preserve history.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Instead of asking questions that can be answered with "yes" or "no," encourage storytelling.

Try questions like:

• What is your earliest childhood memory?

• Who was the storyteller in the family?

• What holidays did your family celebrate?

• What jobs did your parents have?

• What traditions do you remember?

• What was the neighborhood like where you grew up?

• Is there someone in the family you wish you knew better?

Often, one answer naturally leads to another story.

Record the Conversation

With permission, record the interview using your phone or a digital recorder.

You'll capture details that handwritten notes often miss:

• Voice inflections

• Laughter

• Emotion

• Exact wording

• Family expressions and sayings

These recordings often become treasured family heirlooms.

Bring Photos Along

Old photographs are wonderful memory triggers.

Ask:

• Who is this?

• Where was this taken?

• What was happening that day?

• Do you remember anyone else who was there?

One photograph can unlock dozens of forgotten memories.

Preserve Everything

After the interview:

• Label recordings clearly.

• Transcribe important stories.

• Save digital copies in multiple locations.

• Share them with family members.

Future generations will thank you.

Final Thoughts

Genealogy isn't only about names and dates—it's about people.

The records help us build the family tree. The stories bring it to life.

Take the time to sit down with your relatives while you still can. You may discover that the greatest piece of your family history has never been written down